Abused
by RidingDestiny
Summary: So this is my first fanfiction:    Basically Jessie is a girl; Jessica.  so...ENJOY!


It was dark, almost midnight. Thirteen year old Jessica Smith was standing outside in the cold, deserted playground. Her friends had left almost four hours ago, but Jessica couldn't get herself to walk home. It wasn't that she was lost and didn't know her way home, or that her house was far away. In fact her house was only a block away. There was only one reason why she stayed rooted in the spot. One reason why she stood, teeth chattering and body trembling: her dad.

Her straight strawberry blond hair flowed behind her as she slowly untangled herself from the swing pole she was leaning on. Her worn, blue sneakers tapped the black asphalt, the sound echoing across the playground as she trudged home.

The dread filled her and weighed heavily upon her mind she couldn't help but ponder over all the faded memories. She thought she had locked them away in the deepest, darkest corners of her mind. Yet, she had only suppressed them; held them back far enough so that they did not consume her mind, so that the darkness did not swallow her whole.

All the lies, the secrets, the pain and grief, every memory that tormented her, all of them came out from the dark shadows in which they lurked. She remembered the guilty, regretful lies and secrets she tried so hard to hide, the unbearable pain she could not forget no matter how hard she tried , and the unmatched grief and betrayal that she should always remember. She would remember.

Always

_She was five years old and coming home from her first day of kindergarten. She was so excited because she had already made her first friend. Her name was Nicole. She had deep brown almond shaped eyes, and the curliest brown hair Jessica had ever seen. Her mom had even come to the school to pick her up. As she entered the house with her mom, she didn't notice her dad's worn red pick-up truck that was already parked in the driveway._

_After that, she only remembers the news. So terrible and horrible, it shocked her, even today, just remembering how one minute the world can seem so sunny, fresh, and happy, and the next so dark, gloomy, and filled with so much sorrow. Her dad was unemployed. There was no real reason why the company decided to fire him, just the fact that they believed that they had too many employees. The world was unfair, and at the age of five she experienced it. That…that was when his drinking problem started for him and a world of darkness and pain started for her._

_She was 10 years old, her birthday. She was turning the "big one oh", double digits and all that. Nicole was coming over and so were some of her other classmates. There was going to be a huge party. This was the one time in the past, were she truly, genuinely felt thrilled and happy._

_Later at the party, while everyone was having fun, her mom called her over._

"_Ya, mom?"_

"_I just wanted to tell you something."_

"_Oh…so what is it?"_

"_I just wanted you to know, Jessie"_

"_Uh huh…."_

"_I love you"_

_They were such simple words. They were only three words, eight letters, and three syllables. Yet, the way her mom said it and the look on her face made her brain stop and heart skip a beat from shock. She had her mother's straight strawberry blond hair and deep blue eyes; eyes the colour of the ocean on a perfect warm summer day. However, when she looked into her mom's eyes then, she saw such sadness like an ocean of tears. She shook her head to get rid of the image. Yet she couldn't help but think that there was more, something else her mom wasn't saying. Because when her mom said, "I love you", she said it like "Good-bye"._

_The next day, after her birthday, Jessica came home to the house overturned. Chairs and tables were knocked over and food was everywhere. The house was a mess. Her father was on the couch getting drunk. Again_

"_Look at what your mother left you."_

"_What?"_

"_Nothing! Ahahahah" and laughing her father passed out._

_Jessica searched the house. She stopped in her parent's bedroom, when she noticed the empty closet. She looked through the rest of the house calling for her mom. But her mom didn't answer._

_She never would again._

Now, thirteen years old, Jessica wiped the wetness on her cheeks. Without realizing it, she had already reached the house. It wasn't really home; not after her mom had left. Reaching out she placed a trembling hand on the cool, bronze door handle. She took a deep breath to steady her hand and stem the tide of fear that threatened to overwhelm her. She turned the handle and entered.

Her father was sitting on the worn leather couch when she entered. He was wearing old, smelly sweats, and still hadn't shaved. In one hand was a light cigarette, and in the other was a bottle of alcohol. She had expected this. Her father rarely moved from the couch. It was his shell; probably the one place in the world where he actually felt safe and comfortable.

As soon as he heard the door shut, his head snapped towards Jessica.

"WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN!" he shouted.

"Out, why do you care," she replied.

She already knew the routine. He would yell at her for a while and then after a few seconds his temper would break. Today was no exception, and after only a few seconds after she had entered the house, he exploded.

He would hit and punch her until her skin was raw and bleeding. Her eyes quickly filled with tears, as the she felt the pain. Her vision swam and she was about to pass out, when he finally stopped. He slowly shuffled back to the couch and continued watching the TV and drinking, as if nothing at all had happened.

She was used to this. It always happened. But, at that moment, she could only feel the pain and hurt. When she finally got the courage to stand, she left. She had never left before, and she could hear her dad yelling after her as she zoomed away. She ran away; from her dad, the house, and from the pain. This was it; she didn't want to do it anymore. She would gladly give up food and water for a month if it meant that she didn't have to deal with it anymore. And as she sped away as fast as she could, she knew that she already had: given them up.

_Maybe_, she thought, _dad will feel so sad that I left; he will change and stop drinking._

Yet, she knew, deep down, that this was just wishful thinking. She had already wished upon so many stars, candles, and pennies in the fountains, that she knew it was just dumb to even think that he would change. It would never happen.

As she raced down the street, she could feel eyes upon her. However, every time she turned around and looked behind her she would see nobody; not even a shadow.

_Probably just my imagination_ she thought and scolded herself for being so paranoid. She continued on her journey. She didn't know where she would go, but she knew she couldn't go to Nicky. It would be the first place that her dad would look, and she would never drag Nicky into such a mess. She had never told Nicky about the abuse she suffered practically every day. Nicky might have a noticed something, but she never mentioned it.

_Thud_

The sound brought her out of her reverie. And as she looked around for the source of the sound, she noticed a group of strangers.

"Who are you?" she asked as the group drew closer.

"We are the Royals" a man, she thought was the leader answered

The name made her tremble. She recognized that name. They were a gang that usually would cause problems in the neighbourhood. She didn't really know anything about them, except that she had one time overheard her homeroom teacher complain about some vandalism the gang had done.

"What do you want from me?"She asked, her voice quivering a little.

"You're Jessica, right? We've been waiting for you. Join us."

"How do you know my name? Wait. Why should I join you guys?"

"Because we're just like you. Abandoned, betrayed, lost, hurt, pain; we've experienced it, just like you have. You're not alone, you never were"

There was something about how he said it that made Jessica believe him. She wanted so badly to believe him; to believe that she was not the only person to live through so much, that she was not the only resident in this living hell.

"Come on Jessica, are you coming?"He asked as he turned around and began to leave.

There was only a few second for her to decide. Her mind was a jumble of mixed emotions. _Well I don't have any better place to go_ she thought.

And with that Jessica; pure, innocent Jessica took her first step towards the awaiting gang, and the darkness, finally swallowed her whole.


End file.
